Chateau Grief 18

Grant: Good morning, I'm Mr. Rhelan.

Grant: Well this is my first try at this too.

Grant: You all look like a toad hootenanny in a hailstorm. Now where did I put that roster?

Thought(Patricia): Pay attention Gregory! I do wish our guide would get down to business and talk about the lighthouse! I've got to work on Gregory's socialization. Young people are so unappreciative of culture...

Narration(Kore): I have never been this hungover before. Ever

Narration(Kore): Stay tuned for another exciting message from our sponsors

Coffee Mug: You can literally die from lack of coffee

Narration(Kore): What the hell happened last night? Was I run over by a train?

Narration(Kore): And then Grant does his hear ye, hear ye medieval proclamation jazz. Except he said his name was Rhelan... Why am I calling him Grant?

Grant: I won't ask if any of you know what's going on. If you could competently run your own life, you wouldn't be here.

Alan: I and my family are here to spread the good news. We don't care what you think.

Telepathy(Kore): Alan Lyrken & son Age: 24 Weight: increasing Pursuing a position in, as he calls it, full-time Christian work, has married, on schedule, the nice little redhead who was in class with him at Bible college, and they are now working on becoming the progenitors of precisely 2.8 children, who will ideally become notorious local hellions if all goes as planned for his career.

Narration(Kore): I have always been good at reading people. It's my job. I make snap judgments. I act on instinct. But this is a little ridiculous.

Grant: Excellent. Eynhallow can use a forty-eight church. Someone's gotta compete with the Satanists.

Grant: Yes, weird smiling lady, and unfortunately clueless son... I remember you too.

Grant: and Kore... do you always look like you've just been shipwrecked?

Narration(Kore): ... project vulnerability, elicit sympathy, return the challenge with spirit, but don't come on too strongly...and watch him fold

Thought(Grant): She has no idea.

Narration(Kore): Evaluate that thought later, now get him playing defense...wait...I am now officially delusional...because I'm taking it for granted that I can read his trippy mind.

Grant: I...uh... Sorry, I'd better get on with it, hadn't I?

Narration(Kore): My face may feel like it's made of pineapple rind, but as far as megalomaniac supervillain delusions go...I've had worse.

Author Notes:

The world's most evil baby face.

Episode Recap:

Grant tries to get his group together, but it’s all going super awkwardly, and this is when Lighthouse Lady swoops in to demand lighthouses. Then the Lyrkens get in the action and Grant is mobbed. The Lyrkens are missionaries, here to combat the growing threat of Satanism on the island. Remember the election last week? Baby Lyrken is the worlds most evil child. He makes his wroth known upon the wreckage of humanity. Kore is swamped in lighthouses, and missionaries, and babies crying and brain surgery headache concussion and what does she want? A cup of joe. Don’t we all? She remembers getting it intravenously while reading Lloyyddd’s Comedy Week, which is a highly entertaining, if expensive, publication. Entirely overwhelmed, Kore goes, picks a daisy and hands it to Smol Master Lyrken, who eats it with gusto and stops crying. The noise quieted, she indicates to Grant that he may continue his ineffectual people wrangling. Grant is quietly amused.