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Chateau Grief 115

Narration(Grant):I'm always marching these hallways. It's better to move and take action. In transit. Not stagnant. Never stagnant.

Narration(Grant): I've got that signed contract he demanded.

Narration(Grant): Because I signed every page myself.

Narration(Grant): Deliver it then I can go home. I'll get some decent meat from the butcher for dinner.

Xander: We have no need of your regulations you losers!

Xander: You robotic slime minion! I've seen cats with greater intellectual capacity than your calf's brain. I need a tranny for a 1967 Mercedes and a thousand sheep.

Xander(Offscreen): How hard is this to understand, you subhuman parasite?

Xander: I told you we're fine. Just leave me alone! I've always hated you people. Why can't you put me through to the secretary?

Xander: Hello Hillary. I understand. But you've heard wrong. There's nothing going on here that I'm not 100% in control of.

Grant(thought): Sure you are. You liar.

Grant(thought): And I hope you can hear me from across the room.

Xander: Ok, give me a couple of bulkers of rocks or something. I could use it to get the children breaking ashlar to fix the road I tore up when the sewage main failed.

Xander: Keep 'em out of the chimneys, right? And a thousand sheep.

Grant(thought): Eynhallow's problems aren't the secretary's. Do you wonder when she'll catch on? The last one believed your antics for quite some time.

Xander: I don't want your money! I don't need your money! I don't care! I need a thousand sheep!

Narration(Grant): One day... I'll end this ridiculous farce.

Xander: What do you mean animal cruelty?

Narration(Grant): But not today.

Narration(Grant): Today, I'm going to go extort a decent cut of meat out of the butcher.

Author Notes:

And what has Xander been doing meanwhile?  Exercising a vehement and entirely G-rated ire in the service of the USG.  This is that annual phone call he's been dreading for the last 100 episodes.  And if any of his forces are caught or killed, for sure the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of his actions.   

Characters: Grant, Xander

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